A while back I read an article from Esquire that was an “Open Letter to Men”, written by Christina Hendricks (of “Mad Men” fame) and I appreciated that she took the time to lay some things out there that either I didn’t know or I didn’t pick up on before (especially when her points were later validated by several female friends of mine). If you didn’t know already, I’m a big fan of being open and honest about things, so her taking the time do be open and honest was appreciated.
But what about you women? After reading it I got to thinking that someone should write an “Open Letter to Women” that was equally as informative, but being that I can’t think of any other guy who would spend the time to do that, here I am to pick up the slack. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Yes, I know this article makes generalizations about BOTH genders. The problem here is that every person is different, and I simply cannot make the points that need to be made while covering each and everyone’s feelings on each topic. My intention is NOT to say that all men/women are the same, but to make a broad point that covers most of the gender in question. If you don’t think you fall into a certain category, or disagree with what I think, you’re probably right and I’m fine with it. :)
Men don’t want to be your self-esteem. - If you don’t think you’re beautiful, chances are we won’t either, though we will still say it so that we don’t upset you. Confidence is the most beautiful thing about a woman. We want to spend time enjoying your beauty with you, not trying to convince you.
We want you to wear high heels, no matter how tall you are, but not if all we’re going to hear is complaints about how much they hurt - I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure the high heel shoe was invented for aesthetic reasons, not as a way to tack on a few inches to your height. Whether you’re 5’1”, or 6’3” the aesthetic factor still applies. However, we’d rather you wear some comfortable flats or something than spend an entire night listening to you whine about your platform stilettos.
We find pornstars and strippers attractive for a reason - Calling them “skanks” or “trash” isn’t going to make us suddenly realize we aren’t attracted to them. However, just because we find them sexually attractive doesn’t mean we don’t find you more attractive in other areas. Rather than trying to change what we’re attracted to about them, try embracing and unleashing your inner pornstar/stripper (to a level you’re comfortable with and embrace). We will love every minute of it.
Blow jobs are to men, as flowers are to women - You know how getting an unexpected bouquet of flowers can make your whole day? We don’t do that because we really enjoy giving flowers, we do it because we know it will make you happy. The same should apply in reverse.
We like being “the man” - Whether it’s who is more athletic, who has the nicer car or house, who has the better job, etc., men are naturally competitive with each other (some more than others, but on some level we’re all competitive). We want you in our corner to not only make us feel like the man, but to make sure everyone else knows that you think we’re the man as well. Publicly calling us out as inferior to friends or other males, even if you’re “just joking,” is something we don’t appreciate.
You like discussing problems, we like solving them - When you come to us with a problem, we want to help you solve it and are annoyed if we can’t. If you just want to vent about it and don’t have any intentions of “fixing” anything (which in my experience is more often than not), calling up or visiting one of your girlfriends is probably a better decision.
A girlfriend without girlfriends is just a soon-to-be ex-girlfriend - Men and women handle friendships differently. Get a group of women together and chances are there will be a lot of talking involved… but get a group of guys together and chances are there is minimal talking and more watching TV or playing video games. While the best relationships are built on friendship, expecting us to fill the void left by a lack of female friends is the wrong way to go, and we WILL resent you for it if you try.
Hope that helps. If any guy feels like contributing to this open letter, let me know. Have thoughts or comments to share? Feel free to leave a comment!